Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
