Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
