when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
