I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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