oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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