i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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