Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
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Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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