Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
