She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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