He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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