Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
