Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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