is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
