Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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