Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
