Hey man sorry I got all grabby
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
