I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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