Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am spending my child support on dildos
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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