Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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