im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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