i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You are a genius and a whore.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
