that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
