So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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