The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
