so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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