me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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