So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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