Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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