I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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