We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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