It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize