if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
