I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
