i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I pour the whiskey from now on
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
