see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
