I think I am morally bankrupt
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
