dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
