i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
