I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize