She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
