Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
