I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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