haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
