If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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