gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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