Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
