he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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