I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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