So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
