Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
