in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
