you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
