Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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