What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
