i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I could fuck to npr.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
