I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
