Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
