dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
