so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
