So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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