I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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