You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
