I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
