i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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