i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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