My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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