She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Never underestimate the power of titties
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
