I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
