The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
