Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
