I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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