hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
